Heir Apparently
So last week, Prince Willy an unemployed benefits claimant from Cambridgeshire, made a statement to the Zombie Nation, that his honest and truthful mother was purely smack talking her baby daddy. Turns out he sent a minion of the Empire Lord Dyson (who I assume is the hoover guy, purely because donations means lordships), to go out on an epic mudslinging mission against the BBC, who we already knew were shifty gits from backing their old mate Saville.
Great Britain is known for a lot of things, and stitch up reports by stuffy lords who probably smell of wee is one of them. Dodgy inquiries are as much part of the corner stone of our democracy as old Lizzie the Head Honcho herself. If we get accused of having institutionally racist organisations, we send out one of our Lordly mates to say “Nah Bruv, it’s all bollocks mate. You Woketards need to man up”.
Huzzah
As expected, the guardians of the empire came back good on their master’s wishes, “Huzzah, we have found evidence of intrigue and deceit among the common folk”. So it turns out one of the Queens witch finder generals, had in fact forged documents to curry favour with a Princess who fell out with Court. Aghast a stunned nation took a deep collective breath and muttered back, “Journalists lie?”
So now, because a “journalist” has been found to have lied, the story must be a lie by proxy. Surely, as we all know by now 2 + 1 = 4. This opens up a new paradigm, what else did Bashir report on which is complete lies now by the same strike of the establishment hammer? Can we finally accept that the only crime of Michael Jackson’s, was not playing ball with a media hostile to him? By the same admission, did Charles Ingram not cheat on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Maybe Victor Conte didn’t engage in doping?
So just to be perfectly clear here. What is being said is that Willy thinks his mum has always been super honest, until that time she lied about his naughty daddy. To that guy who lied about how he got to speak to her, even though she would have said the same to anyone, which is also a lie, but she is also honest without question, except this one lie, obviously. In a world of topsy turvy double speak who actually knows their arse from their elbow any more. I guess all I can do at this point is trust the Establishment.
Turing’s Revenge
Another great site by the Dangerous Globe
