Donald Toilet Paper
Business Culture

Donald Boosts Global Economy

Who said The Donald would be bad for the economy ? With the incessant barrage of doom and gloom being reported at the moment, we thought it’s about time something positive was reported in the press.

Since Donald has become POTUS, a cottage industry has exploded around him with literally hundreds (possibly thousands, we haven’t counted) of companies producing Donald branded merchandise.

PANTS

Our personal favourite are these amazing pants. After we found these on the interweb the office was on fire with advertising copy such as “I’ve farted more meaningful speeches” and “I wouldn’t even shit in them” but to quote Johnathan Pies great piece on “Papering Over Poverty“, he now is literally a “sack full of dicks”.

Donald Trump Pants
Donald Trump Pants (Click to purchase on LoveRiot)

SWIMWARE

Undoubtedly the best he has ever looked and serious kudos to anyone wears this. If there has ever been an “outfit” for sitting in the audience of Question Time, this is it.

Donald Swimsuit
Donald Swimsuit (Click to buy on Amazon)

PEN HOLDER

Not much more to say about this one other than we have already placed our order. The pen is mightier than the sword, especially when it’s rammed up your his arse.

Donald Pen Holder
Donald Pen Holder (Click to buy on Amazon)

TOILET PAPER

Probably the most perfect use of that now very famous photo. DISCLAIMER: Compulsory use after a night of binging on Guinness and yesterdays kebab.

Donald Toilet Paper
Donald Toilet Paper (Click to buy on Amazon)

T-SHIRTS

There are of course numerous t-shirts available branded with the twat but this is our favourite. Essential work / office wear to find out how cool your company and colleagues really are.

One of the Donalds t-shirts
One of the Donalds t-shirts

If you’d like to read another article on how The Donald is actually helping the economy, read…

Donald Drug Seizure

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