Culture Crime Politics

Donald Drug Seizure

Around 5,000 ecstasy tablets in the shape of Donald Trump’s head (fake tan in colour no less) and a stash of cash, have been seized by the German Polizei. (Who said Donald wasn’t doing anything for the economy and small businesses). They report the drugs were confiscated over the weekend and an Austrian father and son have been arrested. To me, that sounds like an awesome father-son relationship. They both clearly possess the creativity, knowledge, humour and motivation to succeed in business, it’s just a shame their criminality was lacking, (an essential part of being in business nowadays), so they got caught.

Now this is the kind of news article that would have been buried in the US to avoid blemishing The Donalds impeccable reputation. Thankfully this happened in a fairly free country, (Osnabruck, Germany), so we have the privilege of writing this piece. In the right place at the right time I’d guess you’d say, with the kind of material that content providers dream about. With his incessant madness, at last something Donald has been found that can put a smile on your face… literally. 

Donald Trump ecstasy pills seized by German police. (ED: I’d like to put in an order, who do I contact ?)

If this project from a family run business had been on Kickstarter or Indiegogo, (if it were allowed), we are 100% convinced it would have broken all records for reaching the requested target in time and for over-funding. I mention the internet as it is thought the drugs were to be sold online under the slogan “Trump makes partying great again”. With a tagline like that, a product which would sell itself and the backstory of a father and son business, I would have sold everything I own and bought shares in the company. Makes you think why are some Class A drugs are illegal and others are not, but that’s a different article.

On a more serious note and not to make light of illegal drug taking, experts in the UK have warned there has been a rise in the number of people going to hospital for treatment for mental and behavioural issues. To alleviate the extra strain placed on emergency wards, they advised that to avoid any feelings of fear, dread or paranoia, or if you are having a “bad trip”, just try to remind yourself that “it’s unlikely he will last the full 4 years”.

(ED: To our younger readers, we do not discourage encourage drug taking and while as the name would suggest, Ecstasy can be quite pleasant, the pills can sometimes kill users, but more commonly induce nausea, panic, paranoia and agitation. Much like Donald).

If you’d like to read another article on how The Donald is actually helping the economy, read…

Donald Boosts Global Economy


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Lord Fuzztone
Isn't it about time us 99.999999999% started a revolution and took back control from the cunts who are destroying our world ?
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